Remember the times…

…when sex was fun and skydiving was dangerous? Yes, me too.

Nowadays things are a little more complicated, so Heinrich, dirty old man that he is, feels the need to set a few things straight.

A funny yet potentially embarressing misunderstanding when planning Anglo-German intercourse (“Geschlechtsverkehr”, literally translated “sex traffic” 😉 ) involves preservatives. Well, normally you would not expect that food chemistry would be a favorable topic in the bedroom – unless you’re dating a chemist maybe. But the German word for condom happens to be “Präservativ” while preservative translates to “Konservierungsstoff”.

To make things more complicated, a multitude of other names are frequently used for condoms, normally depending on the company your in:

“Kondom” – you would not have guessed, would you?
“Pariser” (Parisian) – yes, the French have a certain reputation in these matters
“Gummi” (rubber)
“Verhüterli” – contraceptorlet (this highly innovative term is (c) Heinrich IX)
“Lümmeltüte” – (bugger bag)
“Präser” – short for “Präservativ”

So, next time you’re in a very intimate mood and someone asks you “Hast Du nen Gummi dabei?” you are well prepared and will know that he or she is not referring to something made by Haribo…

By the way: maybe someone can one day enlighten me as to how “condominiums” got their strange name…


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